Life's Journey - Friends

Friendship is amazingly important; it helps us to feel grounded - at home. I remember a very few friends from early childhood - before age ten. There was Nelda, Sandy, and Susan McDonald Arnot (I always liked her name). I remember the most about Susan; I think she played a big part in my decision that my faith in God and the way I worshiped God was very important to me. What prompted this determination was when she told me that I could come to her church whenever I wanted, but she would never set foot in my church. That offended me (though I still liked her), and I childishly decided that if she wouldn't come to my church, I certainly wouldn't go to her church. She was Catholic, and I was Baptist - poles apart in those days. This decision impacted my life a number of years later when the first boy I liked was Catholic. My mother was concerned that I would make too much of the relationship, and was concerned about the difficulties I might face if I married this young man. My mother needn't have worried though; that decision had been made years earlier.

Another friend I had that meant a great deal to me was Sue Ann B (last name omitted). We went to school together and church together. We were friends from elementary school until she moved to California during or at the end of grade ten. We stayed in touch until the end of my first or second year in college, and I always thought of her as "my best friend so far away."

I was blessed to make some new friends around age twelve. I had been around these girls from about age nine; but because of my shyness, I did not get to know them well. I used to sit in Sunday School each week and hear people talk about GA's and invite girls to attend; I wanted to go but was too shy to accept the offer. Around age twelve, one of the girls gave me a personal invitation, and that gave me the courage to go. These girls - Ruth, Sharon, Deanna, June, Sue and Beverly - became my circle of friends. Out of that group, Ruth and Sharon seemed to be particularly close while Deanna and June also seemed to have a special relationship (groups within groups). Despite this knowledge, I always felt accepted. There was one other girl from school, Cheryl Taylor, who was a good friend. We both played clarinet in the band throughout junior and senior high school. Cheryl was always first chair, and I was second chair. I was happy for her to have the top spot since I thought she played better than I did (and if I made a mistake I was less likely to be heard). I went to a very large high school, and Cheryl was the only person I knew well who had the same lunch shift I had. Everyone had their groups at school and students had their own assigned seating in the cafeteria; walking into the cafeteria alone and risking sitting at a place I wasn't supposed to sit was something I couldn't have done in those days. Thank goodness Cheryl had a good attendance record or I'd have lost a lot of weight.

I always said that I took my friends to college with me. That isn't exactly true (I don't think they chose the same college I attended because of me), but Ruth, Sharon, Deanna, June and I went off to college together. I feel badly about this, but I cannot remember if Beverly went there or not.

These girls were true friends to me; no matter what, they stood by me. There were good time and some very bad times, but I could always count on them. I don't know if they realized how much their support meant to me, but the road might have been unbearable if I had not felt that they were in my corner. I think they worried about me at times, but their friendship was always there. If my memory serves correct, the last time I saw these girls was at my wedding - almost forty-one years ago. I have recently reconnected with two of the girls, Sharon and Deanna; and as I mentioned earlier, it is like "going home." I want to say "Thank you" to them for their friendship. Ruthie is gone now, and I so regret not being able to see and talk to her again. I also hope it will be possible to reconnect with June.

I don't mean to end on a sad note, but I mentioned Sue Ann earlier (my friend who moved to California) and that we remained friends until the end of my first or second year of college. Sue came back 'home' to visit then; I remember that we all went to Gaslight Square one night - that was back in the days of "Go Go Dancing." We had a good time, but the friendship with Sue ended during that visit; I never heard from her again.

Over the last forty-one years, I have focused more on my family and friendships have been few, far between, and generally surface in nature - nothing like the friendships with the girls from church. I regret this, though there are some persons who have made a definite impact on me and who I care for very much. In that category, I place Elke Canter (now deceased). I met her on a walk in Tropical Park one Saturday morning (I had gone with a lady I knew from church), and somehow I impressed Elke enough that I got a job with Alcoa (Aluminum Company of America) as a result of that meeting. Through Alcoa I also met Janine and have considered her a friend though we have not seen each other since her wedding a number of years ago - wedding seem to hamper my friendships. I also considered and would like to still consider Shirlee a friend; she and Larry were very good to us in Miami. (Information in this post relating to friends stops in the mid 1990's.)

I thank God for my friends and hope I have meant something to them as well. Life's journey goes on. Let's see what happens tomorrow. (Thank goodness for the ability to edit out mistakes.)