My first introduction to sororities was not a good one. I came in contact with a sorority when I was in junior or senior high school. I found the idea of being a part of one of these group intriguing; after all, these were the "popular" girls and being invited to be a part of their group was at least momentarily appealing.
I only remember the name of the group that asked me to join - the Aphrodites. I don't know if this was a true sorority or just a "wannabe" - a group of girls trying to play grownup. Anyway, I attended a meeting or two and went to one of the outings - a kind of initiation or hazing. I didn't like what went on at that outing and quickly decided that being popular was not all it was cracked up to be if I had to behave foolishly in public in order to be accepted. They didn't ask us to do anything wrong, but I still was not comfortable with their expectations.
My second exposure to sororities was through a book I read while in junior or senior high school. I do not recall the name of the book (though I wish I did). It was about three young girls who had been best friends for years, and who had mapped out the future they wanted for themselves. They would attend the same college, join the same sorority and, I think, marry and live on the same street where the couples and their children would all share their lives. Sounds nice!
Initially, things went as planned. The girls attended the same college; and during Rush Week, they made the rounds of the various sororities. They knew which sorority they wanted to pledge and did all they could to make a good impression on the girls in the sorority of their choice in the hope of being asked to join.
When the sororities made their decision and sent out invitations to the girls they hoped would join them, two of the three friends were asked to join the coveted sorority - the third girl did not receive an invitation. I don't remember the details of how they learned the reason why the third girl was not invited to join, but the reason she was rejected was because she was Jewish. The sorority was interested in smart, attractive, white, Anglo-Saxon pledges - if you didn't fit that category, they were not interested in you.
The girls now faced a problem - the dream for their future had hit a serious snag. The Jewish girl told her friends to go ahead and pledge the sorority. After all, this was the sorority they had all hoped to join; and she did not want them to give up their dream because of her. Her two friends were torn; they wanted to be a part of this sorority, but they did not want to join without her.
The two friends finally made their decision. One girl decided not to join; she did not want to be a part of a group that discriminated against persons because of race or religion. The other girl decided to join the sorority and to work from the inside to change the sorority's attitude and stop the discrimination. The ending of the story was not clear; there was no way to know what lay ahead. It was clear though, that the future they had envisioned would be altered, and the relationship between the three girls would never be the same.
When I went to college, I had no plans to join a sorority. Even if I had wanted to, sororities were expensive, and I could not have afforded to join. If the money had been there though, I still would not have joined. I was "courted" by one or more of the sororities including the most popular one, but I was not interested. While still in high school, I had decided that I did not want to be a part of any group that barred some persons from membership. The reason behind the exclusiveness really did not matter to me - not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not wealthy enough, not the right color, not the right religious affiliation, etc. I did not want to be a part of a group that refused to let some persons join.
It is not my intention to make an indictment against sororities or to offend anyone; I am simply explaining how I felt about things in those days and how I came to my decision.
Blessings to all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I recall some of the high school talk of those that were 'in' - the popular set. The so-called leaders, the ones who set the tone. Also, heard about some of the college 'club' scene, as well as what I've read about it at times. Exclusivity perhaps boost the ego of the included, and likely lowers that of the excluded. The included probably don't need their view of themselves boosted. And I hope the excluded would not be too crushed by the exclusion, but find another way to band together with like-minded students, into a worthwhile cause; while at the same time enjoying just for fun social activities, without the hazing and the crazing.
ReplyDelete